The Charge

We came here together. We came on armored horses with lances and spears. Armored up in chainmail we charged forward. Those with pointed spears aimed towards our trusty steeds. We did not hesitate to kill them as they flinched from our presence. The unspoken rule we carry and taught by our fathers. You flinch, you die. We charged over their corpses trampling them into the dirt. We charged over them without a second thought. We charged until we seized their land. God forbid if we return home empty handed. The ride back home though long and tiering made us come up with good stories to tell our sons and daughters, for we missed them very much. Our home lived behind the stone walls where we basked in the sun, training day-in to day-out. Once through the double gate the peasants came to greet us. Cheering in our victory as we trotted back to the lord’s castle. 

Our lord ordered a feast in our honor. We trained as the servants prepared the food and ordered the entertainment. When the feast started, they served us ale and mead wanting to hear our stories. We told our stories while feasting various birds such as pheasants and the rarity of swans. We also listened to beautiful singers. At the end of the night we either returned to our cots to rest whether it be with women or alone in our cots up at the castle. For we could not return to our families just yet. The lord, our king stilled need us to lay siege. We knew the charge would be needed again tomorrow.

We wake up to the sound of a shield being bashed as one of our fellow knights’ yells for us to get ready. We force ourselves up and grab our food to go. Then with our tired bodies we drag bales of hay over to the stables. There we rest a little bit more as we talk to ourselves through our horses. We tell them our internal struggles about missing home and not wanting to leave again. We also apologize to them as well.  They comfort us and tell us that it’s okay. That together we can survive another day of charging. After bonding, we gear up and equip our horses ready to ride out once again. 

We rode out traveling the land until we come upon another piece of land for us to siege. All together we gathered up forming a cluster of horses in a line. We remind ourselves about what our fathers told us. You flinch, you die. We said the rule to ourselves over and over again as we watched the peasants. They formed a line of pointed sticks. While we sat on our saddles waiting for the signal to charge at them again. 

The sword went up signaling us to ready ourselves. Then it came down as the head knight yelled “CHARGE!” We charged again. No man could escape us. They flinched. Their dead. One by one, they died. We didn’t think, we didn’t care. We charged, we fought. We strive to make it home in one piece. Yet not all of us do, we lose our horses too. They get sick or mortally wounded that there is nothing we can do. Today we lost five from the charge. Two from the over exhaustion, three from being mortally wounded. Your horse is dead or unable to charge but you can still fight. On foot we can fight for our swords are not just for show. We knights train our bodies daily to be in top condition. Our favorite pastime is when we spar together to keep our senses sharp. We do this daily, every evening and morning light. Swords and shields in our hands equipped with chainmail made from iron. 

Victory claimed yet again, we head home. A few of us doubled on horse back now. We think of home and our families. We want to return to them. To hold them close and keep them safe. Safe and out of our world because according to the church we are damned men. If we die, our souls will go to hell instead of heaven. We bare the price to keep our families safe and we will continue to do so. Yet if they had it their way, we would all go to hell. Unless we gave everything up like monks devoting ourselves to god.

Once home we hear the news. The church had begun recruiting knights from all over to fight the Muslims. We hear the whispers of the peasants saying that the pope said we can have our salvation. Our clean slate. Torn by this news we spar against each other asking each other what our thoughts on it are. Some of us couldn’t bare the weight of going to hell while others said they wanted to stay close to their families. Most of us just wanted to protect our home even if that mean traveling a great distance to help the Byzantium Empire. Yet we also thought the church had pulled a fast one on us. Why would we kill more people to save our souls when killing is what had damned us in the first place? Would we really charge our way to our salvation or our way further into hell? We ask ourselves this. We ask our horses. Dare we ask our wives and children what we should do. Our job is to serve and protect the king along with his people. We have no right to accept or deny. We belong to our king, our lord. It his choice whether we leave or not.

That night we are allowed to see our families and spend time with them. We tell them stories and discuss the things we missed. Then once the kids fall asleep our wives turn to us with that look. They heard the rumors. They knew before we did. Though nothing has been confirmed just as of yet. We talk. We see their worry. We receive their love. Sleep does not come, and we head to the castle together. Brothers in arms we march. Our king welcomes us into his conference hall and there he stands next to the Pope. The orders come. Join the crusade. Kill the enemy. Save our souls. We didn’t argue. Nor did we rebel. We swallowed our emotions and answered yes, my king. In three days, we charge.